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| Buzz, that had better be you behind that rock! |
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I'm thinking of a movie that sees Earth threatened by collision with a giant asteroid. There is only one hope for survival, a team must be dispatched to plant nuclear charges on the asteroid and blast it to smithereens. There is only one man with the knowledge and experience to lead that team. But he holds a grudge against his primary rival and second in command over a previous mission failure caused by recklessness. Will the irascible curmudgeon be convinced to head the mission, especially when lady-conflict is thrown into the mix?
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| Wow! What a groovy... Uh, rocket. |
Am I thinking of "
Armageddon" from 1998, starring Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck as the battling spacemen? Nope. I'm thinking of "
The Green Slime" an MGM outing from 1968 and reeled off in Japan under the direction of
Kinji Fukasaku.
Now I'm thinking of a movie that sets a desperate crew of space travelers against an alien menace unwittingly brought aboard ship by a crew member. The alien travels through air ducts and service passageways killing off crew members one at a time. As its life cycle progresses it evolves into a larger and more menacing form. Can the remaining crew kill this menace before it completely destroys their outpost and is brought to Earth?
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| You were NOT invited to our table races. Somebody get Hot-Lips! |
Am I thinking about Ridley Scott's 1979 masterpiece,"
Alien?" Nope. Once again I'm thinking of "
The Green Slime," a campy, classic example of bad sci/fi from the 1960's starring
Robert Horton as Commander Jack Rankin and
Richard Jaeckel as Commander Vince Elliott, the testosterone infused heroes at odds with each other and in love with the same girl, Italian actress
Luciana Paluzzi as Dr. Lisa Benson. (Benson?)
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| Don't get your hopes up. No skin-tight spacesuit for you! |
The movie itself is much less interesting than its production or the truly trippy theme song written by Charles Fox who wrote the music for "
Barbarella" and penned the theme song for the "
Wonder Woman" television show.
Green Slime
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"
The Green Slime" came forth from the wellspring of talent which included the mysterious
Tom Rowe,
Bill Finger, the man who refined Bob Kane's rough idea of Batman into the more familiar icon we know today, and who created The Riddler, The Penguin, Catwoman, et al and
Charles Sinclair who wrote for the "
Batman" TV show. Story credit goes to Ivan Reiner, who penned its stylistic older sibling, "
The Wild, Wild Planet."
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| Wheeeeeee! |
The movie was produced in Japan at Toei Studios. The less than stellar special effects were created by ex Toho Studios employees who previously had worked for the "father of Japanese special effects,"
Eiji Tsuburaya. The monster suits were peopled by children and an odd mixture of American fashion models, Germans, Turks and even United States Air Force personnel from Yokota Air Base rounded out the cast of B-actors.
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| Take that, you one-eyed whatever-the-heck-you-are! |
The Japanese version was released on December 19th, 1968 (The Japanese have a time-honored tradition of dropping bombs in December.) under the title, "
Ganmā Daisan Gō: Uchū Daisakusen?" which translates to, "
Help! Sid And Marty Croft Have Taken Over Our Space Station." It was shown as part of the Toei Children's Festival with the brilliant "
Pinocchio in Outer-Space" as the main feature. The U.S. premiere came in May of 1969 and met with resounding boos. The movie later achieved legendary status as riff material for the un-aired pilot for "
Mystery Science Theater 3000."
If you haven't seen this with your own giant eyeball you must rush out today, crushing small children beneath you to purchase it. Or you could just
order it off the internet. It is a popcorn-muncher that is a lot of fun to watch if you dig kids in rubber monster suits fighting guys in spacesuits flown in on wires. Lots of bad spaceship models (with real flames!) and blinking lights add to the visual thrills. If you were a kid in the 60's or a midnight movie goer in the 70's you have a special place in your heart for shlock like this.
And the legacy of "The Green Slime?"
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| Family resemblance? I'm just sayin'. |
Here's a little treat in case you didn't get a big enough dose of the "Wonder Woman" theme. How about an alternate version-- with Wonder Girl to boot!
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| I give it one-and-a-half tentacles up |
